Love and loving is something I haven’t really paid much attention to

Earlier last week, I felt like something was off and I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  Things were flowing at the office without a hitch.   I started back “running” (and walking – keep me honest) with my running club after more than a year of being away.   My family and friends were okay.  All the bills were paid and I found a housekeeper.  And most of all, my hairstylist is moving back to Dallas from Allen this month!  Just to name a few things and conditions that gets me all out of whack and discombobulated.  Is that a word?  I digress.  So what could it be I said to myself?  I knew a scholarly explanation wouldn’t be the answer.

Then God revealed to me that I’m getting “weary” by what I see and don’t see.   For I know as a Christian, we walk by faith and not by sight.  But it wasn’t a faith issue necessarily, but a lack of patience.  And I believe this is why the following scripture continued to ring in my ear – even before the mystery feeling – “and let us not be weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9 KJV)  That’s how God operates; He goes before you and prepares the way such as placing that scripture in my heart knowing my struggle.

It’s the due season that has been the thorn in my side in an area of my life that I haven’t been as successful: relationships.  Yep I said it!  Now I can breathe.  It’s out there in the atmosphere floating succinctly with the zillions of other relationship-challenged individuals.  But don’t get a misunderstanding here, I’m not hopeless by no means.  I’m just traveling in an area that I haven’t been able to master so to speak.  But, when I look at my love life with “better eyes,” I really haven’t tried.

I confess though, the wait and being still is something I’m light on and pray heavily on this matter to the point I know God is sick of me.  I’m laughing out loud.  But at the end of the day with confession and supplication comes deliverance and with deliverance is victory!  I’m reminded that I have to fight for this victory as I do in other areas of my life such as my career.  Love and loving is something I haven’t really paid much attention to even though I’ve been married.  Well, I sort of fell into that, but that’s another topic for another day, so stay connected.

Bottom line, I am learning I have to not only invest in a loving relationship and make deposits like I have done with my professional life, but also to hang in there even when I don’t know what’s going to be on the other side.   So my prayer now is teach me how to stay in the game and fight to see the victory of love realized.

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11 thoughts on “Love and loving is something I haven’t really paid much attention to

  1. Hey Chante,

    I really appreciate your candor here. I feel like we’ve known each other for a long time without really knowing each other at all, if you know what I mean. So I’m really looking forward to following you on this journey.

    Depending on one’s definition of the word I’d say I haven’t been very successful at love either. But one thing I really connected with in your own account is the need to continue to stay in the game. To fight. To invest in the process. I’ve had some disappointments but I can’t remember a time when I ever stopped believing in the possibility of finding real love, nor have I ever entertained the thought of giving up on the search.

    And so I find myself approaching 50 and, yes, starting yet another new relationship. And with all of the “experiences” (failures seems like such a harsh word) I’ve had in the past, I approach this one with all the hope and enthusiasm I’ve started every other relationship with. Fully invested in the process, with no walls up, no unfair expectations or rigid requirements. Only the desire to be everything I can be, give everything I can give, and love on purpose.

    And so goes the game, friend. Like any game, we gotta be in it to win it.

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    • Hi Ron,

      Thanks for following me on this journey and sharing your story! I admire your approach to relationships and loving on purpose. I’m working to be “easy going” like that. LOL! I wish you all my best on your new journey my Friend.

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  2. gayle says:

    I am now dealing with what I would have described as a relationship after over 21 years of having no interest, It has been almost two years and I now know a man that was not true.
    I am comforted by my spritual beliefs, I know what my intent was, I wanted to be a wife at 57.

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    • Ms. Gayle -In my book, nothing wrong with being a wife at 57! And a man that was “not true” rings so many bells… But they say you have to know “enough” of them to recognize a good one – Best wishes

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  3. CO80 says:

    I was given a book before I got married…that book sat on the shelf for a long time after we got married…I finally picked it up when problems started to arise. As I read that book, I realized I should have read it when it was given to me. I continue to share thoughts from that book as I speak to those contemplating marriage. Thanks for sharing a piece of your story, Chanta…very good reading.

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  4. Mureta says:

    Very nice Chante! I’ve been married for 20, with him for almost years. We were young when we got married and it was a decision that we MADE exclusively. It was not based on my faith or relationship with God. There were sooo many times in the beginning where we struggled and it was a fight to stay together. We knew we loved each other but our stuff was just off, you know?? I always felt like it was because we didn’t seek God before we got married. We didn’t go to church together or anything like that. When we got in a very dark place and were considering a divorce, that’s when we did what we should have from the start, we sought Godly counsel. We started a relationship TOGETHER with God at the forefront and that made a world of difference! I applaud you for letting your relationship with God serve as the loudest voice in your path as you find the love part of your journey, and also for realizing that you have everything you need to get the person that’s already waiting/tailor made for you, you just have to get out there and be ready for it so he can find you!!

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  5. Sharon Rollins says:

    Interesting & intriguing. The delivery of your thoughts was very pleasant & I enjoyed every word.

    You deserve the desires of your heart & recognizing the importance of being patient will definitely be useful when dealing with matters of the heart. You know I had to learn the hard way. LOL

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  6. Ericka B. says:

    Patience….what a great post! We get so caught up on when we think we are are ready instead of when He says we are. Those are the times ee take matters in our own hands and alter what God had planned for us. Love seems to be the thing gives me the blues when it comes to patience. At this point I would rather wait and go with His plan….cause my plans apparently hasn’t worked. Hang in there. You are beautiful and intelligent. God’s male creation for you is going to have to be something special to be the one.

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